


Write My Way Back

by MILKYWON



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, M/M, Mentioned Lee Jooheon, Mentioned Lim Changkyun | I.M, Mentioned Shin Hoseok | Wonho, Mentioned Son Hyunwoo | Shownu, Mentioned Yoo Kihyun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-13 12:01:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14111898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MILKYWON/pseuds/MILKYWON
Summary: Hyungwon writes in hopes to find the person he lost.





	Write My Way Back

Hyungwon is back once again behind his computer. A newly written piece lying before him already edited and finished. Hyungwon was a writer, well, not really. He wrote for fun, he was actually working in a small business as an intern, it paid very well. Writing as a future never crossed his mind, though he was always curious about literature and has plenty of books in a separate room himself.

  
Hyungwon types away, making sure his words reaches out to someone, anyone. To make his story known and to show that the victim isn’t the only one that can write their own story.

  
Hyungwon always wrote about his life. Poems of past mistakes or regrets. Short stories of anything he wanted. Though he never wanted to take up writing professionally, he had an internal drive for writing.

  
He used writing as a form of communication to someone he had lost. No this person was not dead, but Hyungwon wonders if this person is really alive. Hyungwon, when he was young, had dated a man named ‘Lee Minhyuk’, and artist. A ray of sunshine in Hyungwon’s grim world. He was loud even if the silence in Hyungwon’s mind was deafening. He was everything Hyungwon wanted.

  
Though Hyungwon didn’t keep him. At the time, he was everything Hyungwon hated. Minhyuk was too kind to him, too forgiving to someone that never forgave. That’s where Minhyuk had gone wrong.

  
When they first dated, his friends told him to do it, give him a chance. Reluctantly, Hyungwon gave in and accepted the confession.

  
Six months in and Hyungwon couldn’t take it. Six months filled with Hyungwon avoiding the older, snapping at him when all he wanted was to talk, trying to shake him off. Hyungwon kissed someone other than Minhyuk but he never left.

  
Only slowed down.

  
Minhyuk was walking on a thin line of heartbreak and agony and Hyungwon was the one to push him off when he finally, after so long, got onto the platform Hyungwon was on. He was young and stupid. Though being inexperienced like this, Hyungwon couldn’t believe that he had actually fallen for Lee Minhyuk.

  
He had fallen for the too loud male, the one that would stay up to Perfect something. The Minhyuk that usually wouldn’t ever pick up more than a quarter of his food before smiling and saying he couldn’t finish it.

  
Hyungwon mistakes his feelings for a feeling of annoyance, that the weigh he feels is just burden. So he couldn’t control what he said that day.

  
 _“I don’t want to be with him anymore!”_ Hyungwon remembers saying. Yelling to his friends. _“Maybe if you guys paid me a little I’d stay longer but I can’t stand him! No matter what he won’t leave.”_ Hyungwon was furious, pulling at his hair.

  
 _“Why won’t he just disappear forever! Out of my life?”_ Hyungwon finally said, frustration evident. He hears sniffling and he knows that it wasn’t any of his friends. He turns slowly to see Minhyuk stand there. Hyungwon feels weak in the knees, he wants to run and apologize but he stays grounded. He watches him wipe at his eyes and bow as an apology.

  
Hyungwon wants to say he has nothing to apologize for. He wants to apologize because his heart doesn’t like the sight of him crying. But just like every other time, he convinced himself that his heart only felt relief.

  
So when he never saw Minhyuk the next day, or the day after that, or the days following. He never complained. Only kept quiet while his chest felt empty.

  
So when Hyungwon writes, he wants to make sure someone knows he’s talking about Lee Minhyuk.

  
Hyungwon breathes in before letting his breath out, typing his short story. He had a interesting style of writing, somewhere in between a poem and a story.

  
_‘Dust is such a burden,_   
_The way the Sun reflects small particles graciously floating,_   
_The wind blowing it into your eyes._

  
_It hurts._

  
_So when I ground up my own dust from the Sun,_   
_That piece of sunshine left,_   
_An empty feeling._

  
_To the piece of sunshine I broke off,_   
_How did you break into such fine dust?_   
_I am willing to assume the wind blew you away from me,_   
_But you were in my palms and I was the one to blow you away._

  
_To the piece of sunshine that was too bright for the world,_   
_You’ve blinded me to think you were nothing but useless,_   
_How do I apologize now?_

  
_You left me in a state of confusion after I had said the wrong things,_   
_The power in my voice shaking you,_   
_You disappeared from me so quickly,_   
_But I cannot blame you._

  
_You’ve clung to me for six month,_   
_My friends sprinkled the light onto me,_   
_I brushed you off._

  
_My piece of sunshine that I blew away,_   
_Won’t you come back?’_

  
Hyungwon published the part and he quickly went off to bed, clutching onto the hope that the one he had left can respond.

  
He’s staring into space for about an hour when he hears the ding of his phone, the app he was using had sent a notification.

  
He scrambles for the phone and his throat closes up, he grips his phone tightly when he sees the message.

  
He doesn’t wipe away the tear that falls.

**Author's Note:**

> Uh,,,oops?


End file.
